


Stars and Dragons

by KuraraOkumura



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Dragon Mates, F/M, InsanelyPowerful!Lucy, M/M, Multi, Multiple ships, Other, Slow Build, Spirits, Stellar Mages, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-09 23:25:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2002077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuraraOkumura/pseuds/KuraraOkumura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Grand Magic Games, Lucy's celestial magic seems to be acting up. The rip and link between the celestial world and this one has widened, and the Stellar Mage is being eaten alive by unleashed powers that suddenly aren't just her own anymore. Gajeel wants to help, and though he really doesn't have a clue how to do it well, at least he tries. Laxus x Gajeel x Lucy</p><p>Eventual threesome!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In The Shadows

CHAPTER 1: In The Shadows

* * *

 

 "Shit," Gajeel growled, struggling against the ice that held half his body prisoner against the wall.

Their mission had gone seriously out of control. Not a week ago, Makarov had set up six of the guild's strongest – Laxus, Erza, Gray, Natsu, Lucy and Gajeel – for a mission on a faraway island to neutralize and capture a dark mage who had apparently forced the initial inhabitants of the island out. From what they'd found, the mage was Water and Leech based, and had been here for some months now. The villagers had been driven out in the last couple of weeks by the water creatures invoked by him. Gajeel and the other Fairy Tail mages had come straight here, but the mage's strength was easily ten-fold what they'd first expected.

His element being fire, Natsu had long been 'extinguished' by the Water-based mage, and now lay on the floor of the giant cavern not far from where Gajeel had been trapped by a sudden gush of ice just minutes ago. Gray's energy and ice magic had been sucked right out of him by the dark mage, and he'd fallen to his knees with his eyes rolling back in his head not a minute into the fight. Erza had been blown out of the cave some time ago now, leaving a permanent hole in the roof of the place that let in just about enough light that Gajeel could see most everything that was going on. Laxus, and damn him because his lightning magic would have come in really handy against this water guy, had stayed outside to fight off some shady creatures that had been summoned by the mage. And now the only one of them left to fight the guy was blondie, her body glistening with sweat as she avoided the other mage's attacks while lashing out with her whip and summoning her spirits – but each and every one of the spirits' attacks just went right through the mage as though he were made of smoke. Or water. Loke's attacks seemed to have done some damage, but the girl was running out of energy fast, and the Lion's presence was constantly drawing on that energy. By Gajeel's estimation of the girl's panting and sweating, Loke was going to have to disappear soon, lest he end up sucking out her very life.

Right on cue, and with one last panicked glance at his master, Loke disappeared – without the usual flash of light and flurry. Normally, Gajeel knew that the Lion would have been able to open his own gate without taking up much of Lucy's own magic in the process, but he'd figured out some time ago that the two purple statuettes just outside the entrance of the cavern were probably magic blocks, draining on all of their magics as surely as the mage had himself done to Gray. Which meant that the girl was now well and truly alone for this, and try as he might, Gajeel just knew that he'd never break through the ice around him. It was as thick as his own body was high, and though he liked to think himself invincible, Fairy Tail had long taught him to know his own limits – and his were right here. And as he watched the quickly dwindling fight, his chest, legs and arms completely encased in ice, he figured that all of them were probably going to die here. He growled, crimson eyes quickly switching between Gray, Natsu and Lucy. _They're too young,_ he thought desperately. _Much too young._

That's when it happened.

Right in front of him, herded back into a corner of the cavern, Lucy's demeanour had started to change. Though until now she'd been frantic and very obviously frightened, anger had started to show on her face, the whip in her hand quivering as she refused to back down any more than she already had. Her eyes were trained on the dark mage's uncovered face, and though Gajeel was too far to hear them, it seemed obvious that he was talking to her – taunting her, judging by the look on her face. Gajeel suddenly felt sorry for the little dark mage; he had to admit that that look scared even him a little. The guy didn't know what was coming for him; he'd been wrong in dismissing her as weak.

Except that what happened next was very far from what Gajeel had originally thought would happen.

Lucy, refusing to back down as the mage, his hands shimmering a dark, pulsing purple – the same purple as the statuettes outside – stepped towards her, had begun glowing. From the inside out, like a turned up glove with a torch shoved into it, she was _glowing_. It occurred to Gajeel then that this was the same kind of light that her spirits, and more particularly the Lion, exuded when she summoned them and when they used their powers. But the fact that the light resembled her spirits' seemed to have no root and only a head; it made no sense when applied to the context. Lucy wasn't a spirit. She was a human. So why was she glowing?

 As he stared at her, she shouted something at the mage, loud enough that it echoed across the large cavern and he heard most of it. That he was shocked by what he heard would have been a monumental understatement. Her words were: "Eat your shit and go to _hell!_ " Perhaps not much in his own judgment, but coming from her, those words were a far cry from the worst things he'd ever heard _her_ say. That man had really, really angered her. Whatever he'd been saying to her, she hadn't appreciated it. And Gajeel found himself grinning at her words, more than a little proud at her brutal rebuke, and just a tiny bit turned on by the feral look on her face.

And then she exploded, and the grin on his face was quick to fall off.

A startled yelp escaped him, and he swallowed down the rest of his exclamation, berating himself for his lapse in control even as his eyes took in her still-standing figure in the midst of the cloud of smoke that what looked and sounded much like an explosion had stirred up. The dark mage's figure was down; he saw that too, the body crumpled on the floor and silhouetted against the daylight of the hole that had just been blasted in the wall right behind Lucy.

 _Damn,_ he thought to himself, a little overwhelmed. _What the fuck just happened?!_

Looking down at himself, he realized that the ice had startle to crackle with the fall of the man who'd created it, and with one last violent contortion of his body, the huge block of ice fell apart around him. He tugged his numbed arms and legs free, then half-ran half-limped up to where the girl still stood across from him, her back ram-rod straight and her whip slack in her grip. Her face was down, her hair covering part of it, and though he couldn't see her eyes, he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what was in them. The light he'd seen around her body was gone, and the Iron Dragon Slayer had a fairly good hunch that that light was what had caused the explosion; why she was left unscathed while all around her, in a diameter of a good twenty metres, everything else had been blasted to smithereens.

Gajeel stopped just inside the circle of destruction, hands stuffed into his pockets, and bumped a massive, steel-toed foot into the unmoving carcass of the purple mage. He couldn't see that guy's face either, but would've liked to see the look on his face at being beaten by someone he'd obviously been taunting and teasing and provoking not seconds before he'd died. Gajeel hummed a little, knowing that Erza wouldn't be too happy about that particularly thing; part of the mission had been to return the guy alive so that he could be handled by the Council, but since he was most certainly dead now, part of the reward had just been ripped from right under their noses. He didn't mind too much; the prize for the Grand Magic Games had been one comfortable enough when divided into the guild that each member could expect to live on it for at least a few months without needing to work. They'd taken this mission because the guy had been causing serious damage around here, and well, they were still mages from Mavis' sake; if they sat around too long they usually got bored, and either way, most of the mages at Fairy Tail were in the trade not just for money, but for the chance to do some good in this world. And that particularly activity had no price.

Either way, and if he recalled correctly, the total sum for this mission had been pretty hefty, and even if it was divided by two because of their failure to bring the man back alive, they'd still be left with a substantial amount each. So for all these reasons and a few besides, he wasn't too worried about losing out on half of the bargain. On the other hand, what was definitely starting to get to him was blondie's silence.

"Oi, Bunny Girl," he called, just as she started to sway on her feet. He swore, taking an uncertain step forward, and then she was falling, and even running he couldn't make it on time there to stop her from hitting the overblown rocks fully. Her head bounced sharply off them, and Gajeel winced for her as he slid to a stop and fell to his knees in front of her.

He leaned down towards her face, startled when he saw her eyes still opened and searching for his own. Their gazes locked. Her lips moved. And even here, now, in the resounding silence echoing around them after that monster of an explosion, when her words would have been too low for any regular human to hear, he heard.

"Don't tell them I did this. Don't tell them it was me. Please."

And then she was gone. Her eyes slipped closed, her lips stopped moving, and she blacked out in a second. Right in front of him.

Turning a little frantic despite himself, Gajeel leaned forward, placing an ear between her collarbone and breast. Her heartbeat was there; weak, very weak, but there. He breathed a sigh of relief, then slipped his arms under her, one under legs and the other against her back, standing with her as he quickly made his way across the blasted expanse of blown up rocks. Throwing a kick into the Fire Dragon Slayer's stomach as he walked out, he was rewarded with the satisfying sound of a startled yelp followed by a coughing fit. He carried the girl outside the cavern and into the sunlight, growling a little when he saw Laxus making his way towards him at a trot on a little road surrounded by foliage.

"Where the fuck were you?" he hissed at the Lightning Dragon Slayer, stopping to gently lay the Celestial Mage down on the warmed, dry ground.

Laxus sneered at him as he came to a stop. "Saving your sorry asses," he spat at him. "There were a bunch of water Nymphs coming up this way. Disappeared minutes ago. I don't see anyone else still in any fighting state, so I s'pose I've got you to thank?"

Gajeel opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again as his gaze fell on the small, immobile blue and white figure of the Celestial Mage at his feet. He stood. He'd been about to say that no, Laxus didn't have him to thank, but Lucy – and then her words had struck him for the first time since he'd heard them. She'd asked him not to tell. She'd asked him to keep what he'd seen to himself. And though Gajeel couldn't see why she'd want to keep what had happened in that cave a secret, past the strange light he'd seen emanating from her – and he was by now wondering if he'd somehow hallucinated it –, he also couldn't see the downturn of doing what she'd asked him to do. After all, the flame-brain and the popsicle had been the first two to be knocked out; then Erza had been blasted out. He and Lucy had been the last two. Nobody else had seen anything. He could just take credit for the mage's defeat, and though he'd have to face down Erza's rage for the guy's death, he could easily wave it off as accidental, or as him getting a little overzealous. And then not only would he have fulfilled Bunny Girl's wish, but he might also get a little more respect from his teammates.

Gajeel grinned at that and corrected his previous train of speech. "Yeah," he said, answering the Lightning Dragon Slayer now standing beside him, facing the inside of the cave while Gajeel faced out from it. "Yeah, you've got me to thank all right."


	2. Crying Shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Fairy Tail. Laxus is his usual bastard-self, Erza glares, Makarov patronizes, Gajeel storms off. A normal day in Magnolia.

CHAPTER 2: Crying Shame

* * *

"But I don't want you to knock me out!"

"Natsu, be reasonable and think a minute. You're gonna be sick again as soon as we get on, and I'd rather not have to deal with you _and_ Gajeel for the entire that the train journey will last."

"Hey, don't talk 'bout me. I ain't gonna get sick."

Erza threw him a withering look from where she was leaning against the wall. Gajeel shrank back into the bench he was slouched back on, but didn't take back his words.

"What about Laxus, then?" Natsu asked, pouting, and Gajeel was pretty sure by now that everyone but the Fire Dragon Slayer himself knew that he was only buying time before the Titania ended up knocking him out anyway.

At the other end of the bench, Laxus rolled his eyes and pulled one of his blaring earphones away from his ear. "I'm not gonna get sick, flame brain." The blonde man jabbed a finger towards his earphones for emphasis. "Music distracts me from motion sickness."

Ironically enough, Natsu suddenly turned very green at the simple mention of motion sickness. Taking advantage of the new shade of his face and of the fact that he was momentarily distracted, Erza lunged, a flurry of red and silver as she landed a punch at the back of his head. The Dragon Slayer dropped like a stone, and right on cue, the train that would lead them back home from their weeklong mission pulled in.

Grunting, Gajeel and Laxus both pulled themselves up from the bench. Gajeel grabbed half of their suitcases, Laxus the other, the for-once-silent Gray hauled an unconscious Natsu onto his shoulder, and Erza slipped an arm under Lucy's armpits as the blonde pushed herself up from the ground, struggling. The six of them shuffled onto the train, finding an empty compartment nearly immediately and filing into it. Luckily, this train was a long distance one, and the compartments were twice as large as the usual trains, able to accommodate about eight people each instead of four or six. They fit easily into the one, luggage stored safely above them. A passed-out Natsu sleeping against Gray, Gajeel in the middle, and Laxus against the window all sat on one side, and Erza on the other with Lucy's blonde head on her lap and the rest of her spread over the seats, asleep by the looks of it. It had been only yesterday that they'd completed their mission and collected their reward, and all of them, particularly the Celestial Mage, were still largely exhausted by their exploits. She'd spent the last twenty-four hours sleeping, and the rest of them, save the Requip mage, hadn't been too far behind in that regards.

Leaning back in his seat, Gajeel suddenly wished he'd taken the window seat before the Lightning Dragon Slayer had. Though he was never as bad as the flame-brain, who always ended up being sick before they'd even started moving, he still knew he'd be having a thoroughly unpleasant time for the next twenty-four hours of ride. He was honestly glad that this was a one-time mission; he didn't think he'd survive another return-trip to Sylva Island any time soon. Curse the old man for sending three Dragon Slayers out on a mission that necessitated a twenty-four hour train trip down and back.

Gajeel closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

After all six of them had dropped their luggage at their respective homes, they walked back to the guild, Lucy still leaning on Erza while Gray and Natsu walked ahead and Laxus and Gajeel lingered back, both of them yawning heavily. Contrary to the Fire Dragon Slayer, who had, thanks to the red-haired mage, slept for the entire train ride, the other two Dragon Slayers had spent the last twenty-four hours alternatively half-asleep and awake getting sick. It was only narrowly that they'd avoided Erza knocking _them_ out too – and even then only out of pride. Any other day, Laxus would have been stalking ahead if not already at the guild, but having had very little sleep since the start of their mission, for once he hung back around Gajeel at the back of their little group. The two men didn't say anything, content to just walk in silence and put aside all of their past grudges for the briefest of minutes.

Ahead of them, the pink-haired Dragon Slayer pushed the doors to the Guild Hall open, and was immediately greeted by the resounding voices of the present guild members enquiring after their mission. Following after him and the popsicle, Erza roughly grabbed the giddy boy by the back of the collar, dragging him away from the gossipers and from his cat and towards the Guild Master's office, ignoring his loud protests. Gray followed the Requip mage grudgingly, his mood a little more toned-down than Natsu's due to having not yet completely recovered from getting his magic sucked out of him by the dark mage the previous day. Laxus and Gajeel weren't far behind, the first hailed by Bickslow, Elfman and Freed, while the latter gruffly reassured a young blue-haired woman as to his well being.

Laxus snickered as the other man grumpily shooed Levy away, and Gajeel shot him a glare. "Got somethin' to say, Sparky?"

"Nah," the blonde smirked, ignoring the glare being shot his way. "So, have you turned her upside down yet?"

"Shut your trap," Gajeel growled, because even though it was easy to understand that Laxus was only having a bit of playful banter, Levy was his friend, and he wasn't about to let the other man speak like that about her.

"Mavis, will you calm down, Nail-Head," Laxus drawled, rolling his eyes. "I was only asking – you know, from man to man."

Gajeel just growled something unintelligible in answer, and the two left it at that.

Up in Makarov's office, all six of them stood in front of the old man sitting atop his desk instead of on the chair behind it, not minutes after having come into the Guild Hall. "So?" the Master enquired, eyebrows raised expectantly.

"Master," Erza began, stepping forward with a respectful nod of her head, gently leaning Lucy for Gray to support instead of herself. "The mage on Sylva Island was a Water and Leech based mage. As reported, we can confirm that he had been creating and controlling the creatures of the island, which is what its villagers were forced out by. Gajeel took him out after the rest of us were incapacitated. Unfortunately, it turned out impossible to capture him alive. At this point, it was either him or us."

The old man nodded thoughtfully, appraising their battered and tired appearance one by one, lingering a little more on Lucy than on the rest of them. Silently, he raised his eyebrows at Erza, obviously confused at the Celestial Mage's state of exhaustion. Seeing his concern, the red-haired woman nodded back at him to indicate that she'd explain everything to him once they were alone. Satisfied with this, Makarov congratulated everyone else, and they were told to go home and rest.

"Gajeel," the old man called just as the Iron Dragon Slayer was about to walk out. The black-haired man turned with a scowl, and was met with the unflinching gaze of the Master of his Guild. "Stay back with Erza, please." Gajeel relented, crossing his arms over his chest resolutely and stepping out of the way to let everybody else walk out.

Once everyone but Makarov, the red-haired Requip mage and Gajeel were gone, the old man turned to Erza. "Now, Erza. Why was Lucy in such a state?"

Gajeel growled a little at being ignored, seething beside the door, but said nothing.

"As I said earlier, the mage was also Leech-based. Not only did he have the ability to use Gray's ice-magic against him, but he had also installed small purple statuettes outside the cave where he was holed – statuettes which, after closer inspection, appeared to be what was making us weaker, by sucking out our magic and making us use more than would normally have been necessary. And although Natsu, with his fire magic, didn't last long against water, and Laxus was held out of range of the statuettes fighting some of the mage's creatures, I suspect that Dragon Slayers are unaffected by this type of magic. Gajeel's abilities were never hindered by the mage's Leeches in the way that mine, Lucy's and Gray's were.

"My theory is that Lucy felt it more than we did because her Celestial Magic, calling on her spirits etc., reaches outside of herself to work. She doesn't create her magic the way Gray creates ice or the way I change equipment. Her spirits – Loki, Plue – come from outside of herself, and I think that's why the statuettes drained her more than they drained us. In addition, she stayed in that cave, conscious and fighting, for much longer than either myself or Gray. She and Gajeel were the last two fighting."

Erza didn't move once she was done talking, waiting patiently as the old man pondered on what she had just said. Eventually, Makarov seemed to reach a conclusion, and his gaze went up to meet Gajeel, staring squarely at him from across the room. With a wave of his hand, Erza was dismissed, and she threw the Iron Dragon Slayer standing beside the door one last withering glance – which he royally returned – as she passed him to rejoin her friends in the Guild's main Hall. There was a moment of silence as Master and Dragon Slayer appraised each other, and then Makarov sighed and turned away from the other man, rubbing a tired hand across his face. Gajeel was momentarily taken aback by this unusual show of weakness, and his eyes widened fractionally before he schooled his features back into an irritated scowl.

"Watcha want, old man," he growled, not so much a question as an order.

"Gajeel, as much as I appreciate nurturing the idea that you may have tried your best to protect my children, I know what the truth is. Lucy killed that mage, didn't she?"

He started. What the…? How did the old fart know that?

"I told ya," he drawled, feigning irritation. "I killed him. What makes ya think Bunny Girl did?"

"Gajeel," Makarov repeated, a hint of warning in his voice this time. Gajeel scowled, but didn't say anything. Makarov sighed and faced him again as he said, "Ever since the Games, Lucy has been having difficulties controlling her magic. Two months ago, she nearly blasted off half of the training area's grounds – would have if Mira had not been there to calm her down. Only the Celestial spell Urano Metria matched up to the potential destruction Lucy could have wrecked upon us that day.

"It appears that the gap between the Celestial World and this one has been widened considerably, and while this has made it easier for her and other Celestial Mages to summon their spirits, powerful mages like Lucy have also experienced a recrudescence of their Spirits' magic. It seems that it is no longer Spirits who have sole control of Celestial Magic, but also their owners. And with the number of Major, Zodiac keys in Lucy's possession… Their energy is proving too much. She can't control all of it, and it is showing more and more with every day that passes."

Makarov gave a heavy sigh, shaking his head before looking back up at Gajeel, who hadn't moved from his spot beside the door and was still staring at him fixedly. "I expect that it is Lucy who killed that mage – accidently, I'll agree. And I expect that she was surrounded by a blinding white light, which reminded you of her Spirits' magic, and that that magic caused a circular explosion which killed the mage and left her exhausted – possibly unconscious. Am I right?" Makarov looked at him, and Gajeel bared his teeth. "Gajeel, if that's what you're worried about, I'm not going to punish her for killing him. If anything, that man deserved to die. No, what I'm more worried about is the reason why you've decided to take credit for what she did. If you're planning on hurting her with the knowledge, then I-"

"Oh for fuck sake!" Gajeel exploded, uncrossing his arms and letting one of his fists bang loudly against the wall he'd been leading against. "I'm not gonna blackmail her, Gramps! Whoever the fuck you think I am, well that ain't me! I'm taking credit 'cause she asked me not to tell the others what she did – that's all there is to it! Are ya done now?!" And without waiting for an answer, Gajeel stormed out of the old man's office, ignoring the way his head throbbed, because he'd just broken the promise that the girl had unknowingly made him take. He'd just told someone the truth – he'd just revealed the fact that she had killed someone, perhaps for the first time. Because he'd figured out, deep in his heart, that that was the real reason that she hadn't wanted anyone to know that she had been the one to beat the dark mage. She hadn't wanted her friends to see her as a killer, and in himself, Gajeel was sure that it had taken something out of her to kill another human being like that – even accidentally, even though if she hadn't done what she had, they'd probably all be dead by now.

He knew well enough what it was like to take another life for the first time.

He knew how much it could change a person.


	3. Easily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gajeel and Fairy Tail; and Lucy's speech.

CHAPTER 3: Easily

 

* * *

 "Hey, Iron-Head! Fight me!"

 Natsu waved a fist at him from where he stood with Gray and Erza in the Guild Hall, challenging Gajeel as he did every time he saw him. The look Gajeel sent him had Natsu grumbling and turning away, muttering about how Gajeel wouldn't fight him because he knew he'd lose if they fought.

 Instead of rising to the bait as Natsu had no doubt expected him to, Gajeel clenched his fists and strode past the group and out of the guild.

 It was sunny out, something that Gajeel had missed on their journey from the train station to the guild. Just right now, the sun sickened him. He was sweating under his clothes, sticky and uncomfortable and hot. Pantherlily hadn't been at home when Gajeel had left his luggage there earlier, and not for the first time the Iron Dragon Slayer found himself unwilling to look for him, particularly when he knew it would warrant unwanted questions from the black Exceed. He didn't feel like answering questions about anything right now. He set off at a jog, sneering at Laxus' tall, cloaked figure as he passed him, biting back a remark on the fact that the Lightning Slayer was so thickly clothed even with this heat, and just kept going.

 There was only one place to go with this heat.

 Magnolia's Beach.

 X

 Shedding his clothes off – save for his boxers – on the hot sand, Gajeel stepped straight into the water, wading in quickly and stopping when the water had reached mid-thigh. There, he sighed deeply and closed his eyes, concentrating. He memorized the flow of the water lapping against his skin, content to simply let himself soak in as he took step after step deeper into the water, until he was completely submerged.

 Nearly three years ago, when he'd been with Phantom and before he'd joined Fairy Tail, he'd avoided water at all cost. His companionship with Juvia, the Rain Woman, had brought him to fear the liquid more than anything else, and either way water transportation was a no-go for him, and always had been. But after he'd joined Fairy Tail, and had witnessed several of its members setting off for the town's beach on days like this one, he'd figured he might as well see what all the fuss was about. And so he'd realized that water could be one of his best and most loyal companions if he knew how to enjoy it. And he did. More so than swimming, Gajeel was content with letting himself sink underwater or float on the surface when the water was salty enough to hold his weight up. Dragon Slayer practice had long widened and strengthened his lungs enough that he could remain underwater without breathing for much longer than most humans could.

 It was an incredible relaxant, and one available to him on any whim he might have.

 Approximately ten minutes later, Gajeel finally emerged, missing the feel of water on his face almost immediately. He turned to the beach, and from the corner of his eye caught blonde hair disappearing along the path back to Magnolia.

 He knew immediately who it had been. Lucy had been watching him.

 With this dragging him back to reality, Gajeel figured he had some thinking to do on what Makarov had told him. He'd done enough of eluding the subject at hand for the day.

 He trudged back onto the beach, grabbing his clothes off the ground but not putting them back on since they were now incrusted with sand. He stared down at the bundle of clothes in his hands, lost in thought for a few seconds. Urano Metria… He'd seen the spell cast during the Grand Magic Games, though its effect had never actually been finalized. He'd heard from Natsu about the first time it had happened. From what he knew, that spell was the culmination of Celestial Mage spells, drawing to the caster the energy of the stars. If the strongest Celestial Magic spell equalled the strength of a Dragon Slayer's strongest state, Dragon Force, in which scales appeared on the Dragon Slayer's body…

 Gajeel gulped. If Lucy's control on that spell, and on her powers in general, was not optimal, things like that dark mage being killed were the least of their worries.

 The Iron Dragon Slayer looked up, eyes scanning the road back to Magnolia. He breathed in deeply. Lucy's scent still hung in the air. He wondered if she'd told her friends – the flame head and the popsicle. And Erza. But then he remembered what the Requip Mage had told the Master earlier, and he knew that she didn't know. Which also meant that the other two idiots didn't know.

 He'd never wanted to share anything with the blonde. He'd never wanted to be burdened with a secret he hadn't volunteered to keep. He'd never believed the girl would ever trust him enough to entrust him with such an important secret in the first place. And he realized that she hadn't been given a choice in the matter, anymore than he had. He'd been the only one left to see her lose control, and that was the only reason she'd asked him not to tell, and the only reason he now knew what he did about her.

 But even though he had not asked for his current predicament…he couldn't say he regretted being in this situation. He'd long looked for a way to be accepted by the guild he'd almost destroyed and yet had found a home in. He'd told himself he'd found those ways – with his participation in the Grand Magic Games, Edolas, Tenroujima during the S-Class Trials and the after-math of the seven-year gap, and any number of other things. But still… He'd yet to find his place here. And for that reason, he didn't mind sharing a secret with the Celestial Mage. It might have been selfish to so desperately look for a way to be accepted by Fairy Tail, but Gajeel didn't think so.

 He loved Fairy Tail; had come to genuinely _like_ being a part of it and of its people. Wasn't that enough for them to love him back? To _trust_ him back? It shouldn't have been, but he knew it wasn't – if only because none of them actually knew what his true feelings were. Not even Levy knew, because he'd never, so far, let any of them see his inner self.

 He was going to help the Bunny Girl. If her powers had grown as strong and uncontrollable as Makarov seemed to think, then only a Dragon Slayer could help her. And if the blonde had chosen not to tell her best friends about it, Gajeel had no right to go and divulge what was not his to divulge.

 It was with that decision in mind that the Iron Dragon Slayer set off for his home. On the way there, as he took bumpy and earthy roads that led him farther and farther away from the town of Magnolia, he knew, all to well, that he was being followed, and that the person following him was Lucy. Her smell hung in the air.

 There was something about the Celestial Mage's presence that made her unique in the eyes of a Dragon Slayer. A certain feel about her that meant that she had a distinctive aura, one that all Celestial Mage's shared and yet that was different for each one. In reality, Celestial Mages – _true_ Celestial Mages – lived their lives so closely entwined with that of their spirits, that those spirits became a part of their master's identity. In Lucy's aura and presence, there was herself, but there was also Loke, and Aries, and Taurus, and Virgo, and all of those lives that she had intertwined with her own so readily and voluntarily. Celestial Mages were perhaps the Mages of this world that were the most courageous, because they were the only ones who accepted to take on not only their own well-being, and the responsibility to protect the rest of humanity, but also their spirits'.

 They were brave, and selfless, and good, and they had the same responsibilities as parents, only one hundred times over. For that, he had learned to have the utmost respect for Lucy and those like her and whom he knew loved their spirits. It took a strong person to love so many others so deeply that you trusted them with your life. That was another reason why he respected Fairy Tail so and had wanted to join them; they trusted _all_ of their teammates implicitly, and would have given any of them their lives. Some had nearly done so the day he and Phantom Lord had attacked Magnolia looking for Lucy, and a countless number of times after that. That was just who they were.

 On the other hand, there was nobody, and in fact there had probably never been anyone, whom he had trusted with his life.

 He had wanted to. Ever since he'd joined Fairy Tail and seen these people together, like an over-extended family, he'd _wanted_ to. Desperately. But he couldn't seem to be able to let himself go enough to _trust_ – just _trust_.

 And maybe – just maybe – deep in his heart – for he did have one, despite common beliefs – maybe it was that he desperately hoped that, with what they shared now, he would one day be able to trust Lucy, and that she would one day be able to trust _him_ , the way Fairy Tail ought to trust its nakama.

 But he would never admit that to himself. Even if it _was_ true.

 X

 Minutes after he'd gotten home, he stood with his back to the wall beside the entrance door, waiting.

 Lucy was on the other side of that door. He'd smelled her when she'd reached the house, and he'd expected her to knock on his door right away. It was easy to guess why she was here; why she'd _followed_ him all the way out here. She meant to talk to him about what had happened, quite simply. What she expected would come of their conversation, however, he didn't know. But she wasn't knocking on his door, and she'd been standing outside of it for three full minutes, and he'd been standing against the wall for the same amount of time. Just waiting.

 He didn't know if she was waiting for something now. Waiting for him, perhaps. The lights in his home were still off; ever since he'd developed his Shadow techniques, he'd been able to see in the dark as in full daylight. On getting home he'd gone straight to his room, had dressed in clean clothes, his usual set, and that was the time it had taken until he'd gone to stand inside his door expecting for the blonde girl on the other side to knock and for him to let him in. But it hadn't happened like that. It still wasn't happening like that. She was just standing there, waiting for something, and he didn't know what it was, but the lights were off, so it was possible that she thought that he'd gone back out again, and was waiting for him to make his presence known, or waiting for him to return home from wherever he'd gone, and if something didn't happen soon she'd leave and—

 Without thinking, before he even realized what he was doing, Gajeel flung the door open.

 He stood in its mouth, chest heaving for some unknown reason, and Lucy looked up at him, surprised and flustered and a little frown on her face.

 "G-Gajeel."

 He raised an eyebrow. Could she maybe have hoped that he wasn't home after all? That she wouldn't have to talk to him, or see him, or get anywhere near him? Could she really be that disgusted by him? Or that frightened?

 Gajeel shook himself silently. He'd beaten the girl to a bloody pulp the first time he'd seen her, had taken all of his rage out on her as though she were his play-thing. Of course she was afraid. Who wouldn't be?

 Except she didn't _smell_ like fear. She smelled of reluctance. Of apprehension.

 He stepped aside, his eyes never leaving hers as he opened the door wider and wordlessly invited her inside. She stepped past him quickly, and the flinch in her body when it brushed his had his eyes flashing and himself biting back a growl. He wanted to snap at her that she had no reason to be afraid of him, but he knew how stupid that sounded, so he didn't say anything, only closed the door behind her and walked in after her into the living room, flicking on light switches as he went.

 "Why- Why are the lights off?" Lucy asked quietly, looking around her. "I thought you weren't home."

 "Night vision," he growled more than he meant to. He cleared his throat. "Shadow Technique."

 The blonde nodded and looked away.

 Gajeel jerked his head in the sofa's direction to indicate for her to sit down, but caught himself at the last second. He tightened his jaw, huffed through his nose, and said, his voice pulled as tight as a string, "Sit there," before kicking himself mentally. That was no better than giving her an order! She was his guest, for fuck's sake!

 He tried to smile apologetically at her as she lowered her head dejectedly and went to take the seat that he had indicated, but he figured it probably came out as more of a grimace when she saw the expression on his face and tensed visibly. He cleared his throat again, hating that she was making him feel so uncomfortable and inappropriate. "Sorry," he said gruffly. "I'm not exactly used to having… _guests_."

 He was somewhat surprised when she cleared her throat too, and it suddenly occurred to him that in this situation, they were both as uncomfortable as the other.

 "It's…That's fine," she said, her eyes still looking at the ground. Her hands were fidgeting on her lap. "I…Gajeel," she said suddenly, looking up and straight at him as he took a seat opposite her, sprawling back on the second sofa with his arms on the back of it. "I just wanted to thank you." At his raised eyebrows, she sighed and let her eyes fall shut gently. "I just…I don't exactly trust you. I mean, I trust you as a comrade, as nakama of Fairy Tail, but I don't know if it would be right to trust you as _my_ nakama. After what happened when you attacked Magnolia… I mean, I'm not sure what to think of you. But I know Natsu trusts you, would trust you with his life now with everything that's happened, and that – that means a lot to me. I'm trying…" She trailed off, her voice breaking, and straightened her back, looking up at the ceiling nervously as she continued speaking. Her voice was shaking. "I'm trying desperately, okay? I'm trying to believe that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me, to hurt _us_ – the Guild I mean – and _fuck_ , it's hard. But I'm trying, and I think that's important. And I realize that that's probably exactly how you feel about all of us, the same way that we feel about you. We're all…except for Natsu…trying to learn to trust each other. Even after all this time."

 She lowered her gaze then, slowly, and looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time since she'd stepped into his home. "Even three years later… I think we all realize now how hard it is to forgive. It's always been Natsu's gift to forgive people when they truly deserved it, but I'm not that strong. I'm…I'm sorry for burdening you with my…problem," she said, and she spat the word out through gritted teeth, "but I really hope it won't ruin the efforts we've made until now." She stood then, and her aura simmered, confident like it hadn't been when she'd first stood on his doormat. "I'm sorry for bothering you tonight. Have a nice evening."

 And by the time Gajeel had blinked and snapped out of the daze that her words had induced, she was gone, walking out the same way she'd come.

 He stood out of his lazy sprawl, and walked up to the door that she had left open on the way out. The night breeze didn't bother him, but he hadn't noticed that it gotten this late. The stars twinkled above him, and he wondered how long ago it was that she had left. He looked after what he imagined to be her, far off on the road back to Magnolia, lonely and yet never quite alone.

 "You're stronger than you think, Lucy Heartfilia."

 And he closed the door.


	4. Crying Shame: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gajeel drifts away, then back; and Lucy breaks.

CHAPTER 4: Crying Shame: Part 2

* * *

 

Gajeel couldn't see the guild the way he had before after Lucy's speech.

For the next two weeks, every day was an effort he hadn't had to make in a long time. Not ever since his first few months in Fairy Tail, actually. Not since he'd been Gramps' spy and double agent and hadn't been able to tell the others when they doubted him. Most of them, over the last years, had been able to guess at that – Laxus, Cana, Mirajane, Gray, even Natsu, as dumb as people thought he was. Erza had been part of the ones who took the longest to forgive him and what he'd been. He had a feeling that Lucy had at least suspected something from the beginning, by the looks she sometimes gave him, a mix of pity and fearful curiosity.

She'd told him, that night at his home, that she trusted him as a nakama of Fairy Tail, but wasn't sure how to trust him as her _own_ nakama. He understood that. Understood it better than she probably thought, in fact, for that had been exactly the sort of relationship he'd entertained with Juvia and the others of Phantom Lord. In battle, fighting for their guild, he would have trusted them with his back, but never with his life, and never entirely. Outside of guild matters, they were not friends, not the way most if not all of the Fairy Tail members were. They were rivals, not quite enemies and not associates. If one of the others got even a glimpse of the _you_ beyond the guild, you could already consider yourself blackmailed or left for dead with your brain smashed in and your body broken in half over the railways.

There was no pity. No companionship. No help to be expected from Phantom Lord, even if you were a part of Phantom Lord.

And there was certainly no mercy.

When he'd joined Fairy Tail, he hadn't been entirely sure why he'd done it. Natsu's power had intrigued him; Elfman's strength had sent chills down his spine; Makarov's retribution had taken the breath from him; but most of all, it was Lucy's determination, which had driven him up the walls when he'd been first faced with it after he'd captured her, which had later made him want to understand these people. Yes, that had been it; at first, only a wild, insatiable desire to understand them, to understand how and why they did things. Then that desire had turned to need, a burning, aching need that had flared in the middle of his stomach and had seemed to never be able to abate. He'd stayed, had become Makarov's double agent instead of his son's, Ivan.

And learned to believe in this way of living.

What he'd long considered a weakness – trust, put simply – he now saw as a strength. When you didn't have to watch your back for a suddenly drawn knife, didn't have to watch your step lest you tripped on an outstretched leg; it was then that you suddenly realized just how much more energy you could concentrate on the fight in front of you.

He was much stronger now than he'd ever been in Phantom Lord. And for that selfish reason, he too had come to trust Fairy Tail itself. Because they'd made him stronger than he'd ever been before, and because strength was still, after all this time, one of the few things he truly believed in.

He was learning. Slowly, but surely. One day, perhaps, he'd come to value notions that even now he considered silly and useless on their own; things like love and friendship.

Nevertheless, he'd never consciously told himself that Fairy Tail didn't trust him. Lucy's revelation the other day, that they were nearly all as unsure about him as he was about them, had shaken something in him.

So the day after Lucy had first stepped into his home, when Gajeel strolled as per usual into the guild, his eyes and posture were just that little bit harder than they had been just the day before. He didn't answer Natsu's taunts, and when she came up to him he stared at Levy as though he had never seen her, then went to his usual corner and sat down with still not a word spoken.

Unsure what to do with herself and the blatant cold-shoulder that Gajeel had just given her, Levy had fidgeted in her spot for a few seconds before trotting after Gajeel and plopping herself down in her usual spot beside him. This was their usual routine, but the man's behaviour as it was now hadn't been this way ever since before Tenroujima. It had been two years since then, and Levy had long succeeded in breaking through his shell of resentment and self-loathing – or so she'd thought. But he was ignoring her now, not answering her friendly chatter, her questions, or the quick, startled looks she gave him every time he ignored her all over again. He wouldn't even look at her, and Levy couldn't understand it. By the time ten minutes had passed of her unsuccessfully trying to get him to talk to her with idle chatter, the blue-haired girl was convinced she'd done something to make him change his behaviour so radically. Eventually she stood up, and when he still didn't say anything, didn't even look at her, she left the table they'd shared these past two years, shoulders hunched, under the curious looks of half the other guild members.

When Levy had gotten to the bar and was sitting between Erza and Lisanna, Mirajane looked at her, surprised to see her there, and when her eyes fell on the self-absorbed and scowling Gajeel, her gaze immediately hardened. She turned to Levy, who wouldn't look at either of them and was in the process of being comforted by a confused and gentle Erza and Lisanna, and one look at her face was enough to convince the usually temperate barmaid that something had happened. Not wasting another second, she threw her napkin on the bar, came out from behind it, and went stomping over to the Iron Dragon Slayer's table with her hands on her hips and an angry frown on her face.

She stood in front of him, tapping her foot and half-leaning forward, until an irritated Gajeel looked up at her with a scowl and raised an annoyed eyebrow.

"What?" he barked in aggravation, and that was apparently enough to set the lovely white-haired woman off, under the curious stares of what was now the entire guild.

" _'What'_?" Mirajane erupted. "Gajeel, I should be the one asking you that! What the hell is up with you today?!"

A little taken aback by her suddenly loud voice, Gajeel drew himself back, surprised despite himself. "Huh…what?"

But Mirajane threw her hands up into the air, and Gajeel knew instantly that he hadn't given her the right answer. "Would you stop saying that?! And…" at this she lowered her voice and pointed a threatening finger at him, leaning forward even more, "and also, while you're at it, tell me why Levy is up there and not sitting right at this table, with your idiotic face?"

Gajeel snapped his mouth closed and glared. So that was why she was here?

"Because she stood up on 'er two legs an' walked over there, is why."

Fuming, Mirajane frowned at him even more if that was possible, and angrily whisper-shouted, "Don't give me your smart-ass talking-back, Gajeel Redfox. Not to me. _What did you say to her?"_

"Nothing," the man said, shrugging disinterestedly and looking away. "Maybe she's just havin' a bad day. You considered that?"

But after that, the 'bad days' only seemed to accumulate, and for the next two weeks every morning went on the same; Gajeel came into the guild, Levy came up to greet him, he ignored her, went to sit down; she followed him, tremendously unsure of herself, and eventually walked away from him only for Mirajane to come storming up to him, getting angrier ever day.

Then eventually Levy gave up trying to talk to him, and it was when he found himself back to the way he'd been in his first year in Fairy Tail, alone and ignored all day and everyday, that Gajeel realized just how much he'd fucked up.

He'd been ignoring Levy because he'd thought that since neither trusted the other, he didn't want her or himself to have to pretend they did. But it was only two weeks later, sitting alone at their normally shared table, that he realized just how stupid his reasoning had been. They didn't trust each other yet; but it was the friendship that they had been slowly building up these past years that would eventually have helped them to do just that; to trust each other. And now he'd gone and wasted all that effort, and he knew it was too late. In just two weeks, he'd ruined not only his relationship with Levy, but also with the rest of the guild, because he'd let them see the way he ignored the girl, and because he hadn't cared what they thought.

He hadn't been trying, not the way Lucy had told him he ought to, the way she'd said they all were trying. He'd been throwing everything out the window, and that made him an idiot.

Two weeks. That was all it took, and suddenly he was back to the way he'd been three years ago. Had it really been a fortnight ago that he'd defended Levy in front of Laxus? It seemed hard to believe.

So two weeks after Lucy had come to his house, he sat in the guild park with the sun shining, alone. His back was to a tree, and he was busy tearing apart a fresh leaf he'd found on the ground near him. There hadn't been many people in the park to begin with, but as soon as he'd stepped in, the people that _had_ been there had begun trickling out gradually. Eventually he'd been left alone.

He'd realised a few days ago that the guild was avoiding him. And it had been another day before he'd realized that he'd hadn't seen nor heard of Lucy ever since she'd come to his home the evening after they'd returned from their mission on Sylva Island. Natsu hadn't been around much either, not after that first day when he'd started ignoring Levy. Gray and Erza had been there, but both were more subdued than usual, and the Ice Mage had not reacted to the usual remarks about his stripping habits.

Gajeel was convinced that something was going on with Lucy, because that was the only thing that would explain both her absence and her best friends' absence or moroseness. He was about to be proven right.

The guild's training grounds were adjacent to the park, and as soon as he heard the screams, he knew that that was where they were coming from. And he also recognised the voice. Three voices, to be precise.

Mirajane, Natsu…and Lucy.

And next to those heart-wrenching screams, the sounds of magic – pure, powerful, unrestrained magic – and the sounds of the effects that that magic was having on its surroundings.


End file.
